Having beautiful nails doesn’t come natural to most, but thankfully fake nails come to the rescue of many a brittle nailed lady or nail bitter, GUILTY! Having fake nails, be it press on, gel or acrylic allows you to have those perfect talons that you have always wanted, but let me tell you fake nails are hard work!
So you have just got a fresh set of nails done, posted that picture to gloat and showed everyone who looks at you your beautiful new claws.
But the novelty doesn’t last very long does it?
Here’s my top 5 problems every girl with fake nails face.
Whether it is on your phone or the computer you have to adapt a new way of typing to accommodate your new nails. Throughout this post I have made about 175 mistakes. The random ; or ! somehow creeps in aswell as an M for an N here and there and at one point it was just gibberish anbkfksjfbjkaf, spell check can’t save you here!
Ladies with fake nails will all know about the side tap. Where you adapt to typing with the side of your fingers on your phone and then have to revert back to a normal member of society once your beautiful nails are gone. It’s no joke people!
2. Small Items
You drop a coin on the ground with a fresh set of nails, you just keep on walking. It is a lost cause, gone forever, left to be swept away by mother nature, never to return.
Hair clips/bobby pins are the devil. They are fiddly, flip off your nail and nearly take your eye out and take 25 minutes more to put in your hair. As an avid user of hair clips, it is a cross I must bear.
Necklace or bracelet clasps are hard enough to do on your own without fake nails on. The clasp closes on your nail and becomes nail jewelry, that’s if you are lucky enough to get the damn thing open in the first place. A partner is most definitely required here.
3. Breaking A Nail
I know, I know! How stereotypicaly ‘girly’ can you get. ‘Oh I broke a nail’ is thrown around in jest by men and women who have never felt the excruciating pain for getting a nail which is soldered onto you body ripped clean off. Its hurts, a lot.
Not only does it make your beautiful nails now look unkempt and uneven, but it also takes with it your ACTUAL NAIL! There’s blood involved. So yeah joke all you want, but let me rip some of your nail off and see who’s laughing, mmmkay.
4. Going to the Toilet
There are many issues going to the toilet with falseies present. The prospect of breaking a nail when pulling up your jeans. Pulling up your trousers, somehow losing your grip and hitting yourself in the face (just me?) Your nail getting stuck on your zip, WHY! And the worst part of all, not being able to wipe as thoroughly as you were with your stubs.
Getting your contacts in with fake nails isn’t the issue, it’s getting them out without ripping your cornea out along with it is the danger. you end up with what will look like pink eye.
Mix fake nails, contact lenses and alcohol and you get 45 minutes in the bathroom squelching at you eyeball as you try to squint to see and grab that pesky lens.
Thankfully I have a solution my blind beauties, just ask your nail technician to make your index finger nail and thumb (on which every hand you use) that little but shorter (if you like claws like me) or rounder than the rest. Honestly it makes all the difference.
You may ask why do we subject ourselves to such torture, but the simple fact is that once your fake nails are gone and you are left with stumps you would rather go through this anguish than have to look at those hideous troll hands for another minute.